2021, week 3: My Worst Date (storytime)

"Jane will be quite an old maid soon, I declare. She is almost three and twenty! Lord, how ashamed I should be of not being married before three and twenty!" - Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice

Thank heavens we don't live in the times of Jane Austen (although I wouldn't mind wearing a ball gown and having a civil exchange with Fitzwilliam Darcy). As a 28-year-old female I've been on my fair share of first dates. But there's really only been one "bad" one.

The activity chosen wasn't bad, but the execution of the date was. Let me take you back to 2011, when I was just 19. I was attending Latter-day Saints Business College (now Ensign College) in Salt Lake City, Utah. I was excited to be living away from home and to be pursuing a higher education. And I was thrown in to the dating scene. I'd gone on a few dates back home, but I was from a small-ish city.

Living in the epicenter of the LDS church (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints)  meant that I had the opportunity to go to many church sites and also meet many eligible LDS men. [Spoiler: 19-year-old me was not ready to think about serious relationships.]

I am an ambivert. But growing up and while I attended Latter-day Saints Business College (LDSBC) I identified as an introvert. Cue awkward conversations and no conception of how to flirt. Luckily, my best friends were in the same boat.

My friends lived in campus housing as well. (We lived in a hotel. Yes, a real hotel. I'll tell that story another time.) We bonded quickly. We went to church together and hung out on the weekends. We went to dances together.

We'd all had "bad" experiences in the past. Meaning, after one dance a guy might want to be in a relationship or go on a date (but not a double or group date). None of us wanted to get in to a relationship, so at social gatherings we stayed together, to deter guys from talking to us. Well, two guys didn't get the hint. I'll call them Jack and Zeb (names have been changed).

Jack and Zeb were really good friends, who sometimes hung out with our group. Well, Jack and Zeb asked my friend Amy and I out. Jack asked me out, I told him no. Zeb asked me out, I told him no. Jack asked Amy out, she told him no. Zeb asked Amy out, she told him no. But Amy and I hung out with Jack and Zeb in group settings. I think one time we were even invited to their house for brunch (that was the first time I made bacon, ever).

During spring semester we (Amy, Jack, Zeb, and I) were at a dance. My girl friends and I let Jack and Zeb chill with us during social events now, but wouldn't leave one girl alone with the guys. (Teenage logic, I'm glad I'm past that haha) Somehow a conversation led to Amy and I agreeing to going on a double date with Jack and Zeb. I don't think that Amy and I realized until the next day.

Amy and I thought about trying to talk our way out of it, but decided to just go on the date. I think we hoped that the guys would leave it be after that. We decided to go to a museum.

Now, when people go on a double/triple/group date the general rule is that people are paired off: Boy A goes with Girl A and Boy B goes with Girl B. That didn't happen for this date. Jack and Zeb arrived and we were off!

When we arrived at the museum Amy and I were still a little nervous. What were we supposed to talk about? Should we be funny? What kind of things would the museum have? And we still didn't know which guy was on a date with which girl. [Spoiler: It's 2021 and I still don't know.]

The group wandered around the first room in the museum. And then the guys just.. disappeared? I don't know. It turned into Amy and I wandering the museum together and Jack and Zeb together? About 30 minutes later the guys found Amy and I in a room filled with musical instruments. The group spent a few minutes banging on drums. And then the guys walked us home and said goodbye.

I honestly had a fun time and was relieved that I didn't have to stutter through an awkward conversation. But it defeated the point of dating, right? Now, for 19-year-old me it went better than expected. But 28-year-old me wishes I would have just opened my mouth and talked to the guys. Jack actually knew my sister, kind of, because they went to the same LDS mission: Las Vegas. But I didn't know much about Zeb and I wish I would have at least opened myself to friendship.

Obviously, a lot can be learned in 10 years. Seeing as I am single I know that there will more first dates in the future. Now, I know that dates, especially first dates, can be awkward. But I don't want to have any regrets. So, in the future, I want to challenge myself to embrace the awkward, to at least give it a chance.

I'd love to replace my worst date story, maybe call it the weirdest date. Or get a best date story, something that really stands out. That being said, it's on my vision board to give love a chance this year. I don't really know how to do that, though. So, any tips, suggestions, or forwarded bios are appreciated. ;)